Did you ever notice after sharing your big dream that your energy starts to drop? For no reason, you seem to be less motivated and inspired to make it happen.
Procrastination sets in. Frustration gets over your head. Negative thoughts appear one by one.
But why does it happens to some people?
I have noticed this pattern so much in my behaviour that I stopped sharing any project I was working on. I became superstitious. Then, I decided to run some tests to see if I wasn’t crazy. I would speak of a project to some friends and check my emotions.
Most of the time, I felt energized as if I was doing something or already made it. But, once at home, the energy left me, and I didn’t feel like working on the project anymore. On the contrary, when I kept things for myself, I usually achieved what I wanted to do.
Therefore, I started questioning this behaviour to gain more self-awareness.
Hopefully, this blog post will also help you understand why sharing your big dream could stop you from achieving it.
When you share your goal with someone, you unleash its energy into the world. The only way to get it back is to go with it. To follow the flow.
If you don’t, your dream will go away and leave you behind.
Every time you speak, you are manifesting something. If you don’t follow up with the proper amount of action, the energy will go away. So don’t just share a goal and sit for hours talking about it with a friend. Once you spoke it. Go and take action!
When sharing your big dream, you may feel like you’re doing something. But, in reality, you are not. Your mind has tricked you into believing that you’re making something when you are sitting in your couch, daydreaming.
“When you share your big vision conversationally, something interesting is happening in your mind. You’re making vivid mental images of a bright, shiny future. In the theatre of your mind, you can see, hear and even feel success as your idea comes to fruition.”Peter Shallard
This delusion boosts your ego, who embraces it and shares fake outcomes with people. For instance, you might say to a friend that you have started a business. But the truth is you’ve just made some research on “how to create your business”.
Why do you indulge yourself in this type of behaviour?
You seek to be validated and admired by others. To get an emotional reward, which will make you feel that you are achieving great things.
I am not judging you. I’ve done the same. You know the quote “been there done that.”
An emotional reward is something we all look for at some point in our life. The trend is to say the opposite. However, we are all mature enough to see that most people are seeking it (especially on Social Media).
Good or bad is not the question. As long as you are aware of it and don’t let it dictate your life, I don’t see where the issue is. However, the problem is that some people (unconsciously) might be telling lies to themselves and others because of it.
You can kill your dream
Frustration kicks in because you realise that you haven’t taken a step toward your dream. And people are asking “what’s up with your big project?” You can’t answer it. You feel ashamed. So you tell another lie.
Now, what was an emotional reward turns out to be a source of emotional pressure. You feel that you must show or prove something to people.
Otherwise, they might judge you or realise that you are a liar. Therefore, you start working toward your dream. But, you feel so frustrated and anxious about other people’s opinion that you become discouraged “what’s the reason?” you may think. And here is the end of your big dream.
Next, you distance yourself from your friends and family because you don’t want to talk about your idea anymore. When asked, you avoid the question. Your attitude teases people’s attention. They start questioning you to see if you are okay, but you don’t want to talk about it.
You feel like a failure. Worst, a fraud!
However, all of that is in your head. No one is judging you.
No One Cares About You
Most people don’t care or even remember your dreams. You played a fake scenario in your mind and let your emotions get over you. Whereas, in reality, no one cares about what you’re doing. Whether you’re making it or not is not of their concern. They’re checking on you because they’re curious. And because you opened your mouth!
Of course, there will always be some negative, toxic people who want to judge and hurt you. But, you will instinctively keep your dream away from them. Trust yourself!
Stop sharing your Big dream
Don’t share your big dream if it doesn’t serve you. Do it if only you know the person has the same goal and intend to help or support you. Otherwise, it isn’t worth talking about it.
Your dream is only for you. You have no obligation of sharing it. You can keep it for yourself until you feel ready to show it to the world.
Don’t compare yourself with others because it might urge you to enter into a “who has a bigger dream” competition. You are not supposed to compete with anybody, except yourself. Be your best self. Do you.
Dream lofty dreams. Take actions every day towards them. Follow your instinct. Keep your head down. And let your success makes the noise instead of your mouth.
There is a reason why people believe in overnight successes. It is because successful people have waited until the dream has been materialised before sharing it with the world.
Maybe this is one of the ways to success.
The truth is telling people about your next big idea takes away your motivation and stops you from realising it.
So, shut your mouth.